being busy.

This weekend is capital-C crazy.

First tonight, we had a Boot Camp class for Poms that ran late, a team pasta party, and then a football game to dance at. I ended up leaving the game shortly after halftime because I was freezing and it was starting to rain. (And I was exhausted!)

Tomorrow, we're dancing at a charity soccer game for cystic fibrosis, have a four hour practice with our choreographer, and then a team fundraiser at a local Italian restaurant.

Sunday, we have an all-day competition at Six Flags Great America.

This weekend is so busy, I can't even begin to imagine how I'll end up doing the loads of homework my teachers think it's okay to pile on us this particular weekend.

Sometimes, I just want to let it all go, like a bunch of balloons into the sky.

Sometimes I look at my heavy course load and full academic schedule, the source of most of my problems and think, "For what?" Why am I taking mostly honors classes that I'm not even interested in? Why did I get myself stuck in the hardest science course offered at my school, that I'm not allowed (by the school) to drop? I know that I don't want to go into math or science. I already know what I want to do with my life. I know that I want to go into broadcasting, preferably in sports and entertainment reporting, and do some professional dancing on the side. Shouldn't I be focusing on that? Shouldn't I be taking all the dance classes I possibly can, focusing on Poms and my broadcasting and English and social studies courses?

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I sat down before my freshman year began and asked myself what I really wanted to do, instead of what my peers and teachers thought I should be doing. If I had done that, I would never have taken Chem/Phys Honors. I would have taken regular, maybe Honors, biology like every normal student. I wouldn't have taken Honors World History to begin with. If my only Honors courses freshman year had been in English, Spanish, and math, I think my high school career would have been on a much better path. But now that I've started like this, and am already a year in, I feel like I might as well finish it off. It's disappointing though, knowing that I started this just to look good to colleges, before realizing that I'd much rather have my sanity and go to a less academically prestigious college rather than overwhelm myself and suffer four more years at an Ivy. It just isn't for me.

And I wish I would have realized that earlier.

So from now on, here's my plan:

1. Finish all my homework early and as quickly as possible. Do science and math assignments first since they require the most concentration and discipline.

2. Since I'll have finished my homework, I'll be able to go to whatever dance classes are going on that night. The reason I'm not registered for more than pointe this year is because I was scared I wouldn't be able to handle it. But my studio director told me to feel free to come whenever I could, so I intend to take her up on her offer.

3. Take time for myself! Whether it's taking a dance class just for fun or reading a chapter of a book that hasn't been assigned to me, I'm going to take at least half an hour a day just for myself, just to relax and recharge.

It's still early in the school year, and I've realized that this may very well be the perfect time for a major change in my life. I'm so very ready for it.

XO

North Shore Prep